Friday Confessional


Friday again! And, of course, confessional time. 

I confess...
I've been up since 7am in severe back pain. Same thing I had at the beginning of last week, and I don't know why. But I refuse to take pain meds, because that feels like giving up.

Does that make me stupid, or just stubborn?

I confess...
In order to get a handle on the bazillion things I feel I must do each day and week, I have made myself a schedule. Day by day. Hour by hour. Each hour is filled with a task (like workout, chores, violin, sew, etc).

I'm pretty sure this makes me insane.

I'm unemployed, but scheduling every hour of every weekday between 8am and 7pm.

That's insane, right?

I confess...
I had seconds on dinner last night. 

Not because I was hungry.

Because I was in pain, and eating was a distraction.

I confess...
The IRS made me cry yesterday. 

Because they are a heartless organization that is determined to nickel-and-dime me to death, even though I am at poverty level right now, and am spending every spare cent I have paying them what I owe from 2009.

I confess...
I watched "No Reservations" yesterday, an episode that featured County Cork, and now I am 90% serious about going to Ireland with Angie.

Before, it was a nice pipe dream.

Now, I feel called to it.

I confess...
I have no idea where I will get the money for a trip to Ireland, but being free of work makes me feel like anything is possible.

Except buying expensive things.

I confess...
I really, really, really want this job as an MMS Assistant 1 with SAIC in Silverdale. I applied 3 weeks ago, and they don't allow you to check in regarding your application, so I probably have been passed over. 

That thought alone makes me teary, because it might literally be my dream job (assuming the pay doesn't suck). 

But I am willing to do anything to get that job.